myEmote - Blog Link

In any relationship type, there must 100% Emotion Content. Each partner in a relationship must contribute an equal share. No partner should have to continually put in more Emotional Content than the the other. A lack of Emotional Understanding is a huge contributing factor in a relationship breakdown.

A lack of Emotional Understanding is a huge contributing factor in a relationship breakdown.

Emotional Understanding comes from an evaluation of your own emotion values. The key principle to this understanding is that your equal share of the Emotional Content must be 100% of your capability, not the percentage of the equal share. Take a look at some of the definitions I have put together in the myEmote Dictionary to help in understanding your Emotion Values.

Our mind is like the environment that surrounds us. There is nothing negative about it but that which we have created ourselves. In our mind there is nothing negative except the thoughts that we allow ourselves to propagate. Our emotions are not negative. It is the understanding that we attribute to certain feelings that make them seem that way.

There is no such thing as a negative emotion. It is our understanding of the emotion that can make it seem that way.

myEmote - An Explanation

So what is myEmote? myEmote is what I believe is the best solution to helping people to improve themselves. Rather then being a top down approach to helping people, I have, in my own journey, found a method to work from the bottom up. Let me explain.

I found I had tapped a new universe of information.

When you go to see a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist, they all try to profile your actions and personality so that they can offer a plan to help you in your given situation. Since we are all individuals, this means that every person that becomes a client needs to be individually profiled and assessed. My progression through this maze of health professionals was eventually terminated when I realised that if anything about me was going to be fixed it would have to be done by me. The next few years were a struggle to find answers. When I analyzed the health professionals approach I realised that it was extremely intensive for the counsellor and hit and miss for the client. I found that they spent most of there time gathering information about me and not enough time or no time on 'What do I do next?' About this time I went AWOL from reality. I completey closed down and began an internal search for answers. A new world opened to me and answers flowed freely. I found I had tapped a new universe of information. The key was knowing what information you were after and then what question you ask to find the answer.

This time in my life, this time of discovery was wonderful. I was soon living back in the world of the living and annoying my wife with all the 'guess what I discovered today' conversations. It was during this time that I found my 'problem'. I wasn't happy being me. I didn't like me. In fact I hated the person who I was. Why? Because it wasn't really me. I was being what every one else wanted me to be. I was being what people believed a person should be like. But because of that, I was rebelling and getting into trouble.

It was at this point that I asked the right question.

After finding out what my 'problem' was, I set about fixing it. This took time. My methods were clumsy, hit and miss and this made me angry because I was as helpful to myself as the professionals who I had been to see. It was at this point that I asked the right question. I had just heard someone talking about how we are all individuals and I began thinking. Our individuality is what sets us apart but it is only a small percantage of our total makeup. Humans are all the same anatomically, only divided by the sexes, male and female. Your heart might be different in size to my mine but they are both the same thing. In fact, they are so similar that science has found that you can stick bits from one person into another and they still work. Amazing. So we have this basic form that we will say is identical in all humans. Our skin colour, our hair colour, height, looks, voice, etc, etc, etc, are characteristic of our individuality. So here I am thinking that if we are all identical in form, our brains must operate the same way also, it is only our individual thoughts that make us different. For example, I see a green apple, you see a green apple. Different brains same outcome, but then as that information gets processed and emotions are added to the mix of signals we find that one of us picks the apple up and takes a bite while the other person waves his hand over apple and shakes his head saying, 'No thanks, I don't like green apples.'

Now I knew that emotions are something that we learn. They are not 'built' in to us. So I focused my attention on my thoughts and was able to see that our thought processes are exactly the same in each individual but, what makes us different is what we focus on. This focus is what we refer to as personality. Go fetch a crossword puzzle from a newspaper of book and I will explain how this works. Use your imagination also if you would like. On one piece of paper we have the crossword puzzle. Get another piece of paper and cut a hole in it so that about 9 boxes of the crossword puzzle can be seen. Place that piece of paper on top of the crossword puzzle. As we move the top piece of paper from side to side and top to bottom you will notice that your focus is on whatever is showing through the cutout hole, in fact you could say that you don't even see the rest of the crossword puzzle. OK so that hole in the paper represents your personality, the crossword puzzle represents all of the input that your brain is recieving via your input senses, smell, sight, hearing, taste and touch. So you can see, hopefully, that we all recieve into our brain the same information for a given situation, it's only the focus that makes our interpretation of what we see, hear, feel, smell and taste different from that of another individual.

Our interpretation of our sensory input is what defines our actions in life.

Now there is a point to all this. Our interpretation of our sensory input is what defines our actions in life. The actions you make in life are the final part of your thought process. Current methods of behaviourial therapy try to focus on the final action; 'don't beat your wife', 'don't put your hand on the hot stove', 'stop being cranky'. Focusing on what a person does by their actions is only a tiny indicator of what is happening inside that persons head. You see if we try to change our behaviour through conscious thinking, by thinking about it, it will consume most of our 'mental energy' and we may be prone to outbursts of anger. How many of you have to stop an action by consciously telling your self to stop?

Since the focus on our sensory input can be changed it would make sense to do this so that, as an example, if you have a habit of hitting your partner, your focus will chang from looking at the things that make you cranky and focusing on the things that make you, say, laugh. Thus, by following a simple method of rewriting our emotional codes we can change the focus of our personality to be that of someone who is calm, happy or maybe even both, it's your choice.

we can change the focus of our personality to be that of someone who is calm, happy or maybe even both, it's your choice.

By following my methods, you will be able to write down what kind of a person you would like to be and have a clear and defineable method of making it happen.

This website is a work in progress If you need help NOW, please contact me. Don't wait for the information to appear. It could be a while.

Do you feel uncomfortable revealing details of your private life to your counsellor? Do you hide details of your real actions when talking with other people because of feelings of guilt? Do you want to know why you think what you think? Do you want to learn more about how you process your thoughts? Would you like to be able to manage your own emotions? Do you do things that upset you but don't know why?

The beauty of myEmote is that I don't need to know how you act or what you have done in order to help you. No I am not psychic. By understanding how the human thought process works, I can help you effect change in your life with very little information from you. In fact, the less behaviourial information the better. All I need to know is a list of the feelings you are having and a list of the feelings you would like to have. Think of a tree. A tree has leaves, branches, a trunk and roots. By you describing the leaves to me (your feelings), I can trace these feeling back through the branches of your thought process and get to the root of the process that is causing the feelings you describe.

I won't attempt to tell you what you are thinking, because your conscious thoughts are the result of your personalised emotional set. What I will tell you is how to effect change. It's private, the advice can be used in parallel to other therapies and I guarantee that you will be a better person for the knowledge you will have gained. All I ask is your honesty and feedback.